Tag Archives: random

Sometimes……I sit down when I pee

Sometimes at night, when I wake up and have to pee, I would much rather sit down than stand up.  Call me lazy, but I don’t trust my aim amid an almost sleepwalking state. Its much easier to just sit down and pee like a woman.  I have no excuse while I continue to do this during the day. I will, however, teach my son how to pee standing up at all times.

I think I do this because of the darkness and cold when you get out of bed and stumble to the bathroom.  I don’t want to cut the lights on because the brightness would wake me up.  Then if I stood up and peed……in the dark…..I would miss.  If I stand up and pee and don’t use any hands to hold my wang in place……I’m sure I would pee all over the wall on the left………because my wang leans to the left.  Actually it curves to the right….but I have huge balls and the ball on the left is way bigger than the one on the right and causes my wang to hang to the left.  Hence, I just sit down in the dark and pee.

You know another thing about pee?  When a guy has to pee in public we are judged by the sound of the pee.  Here is what I mean.  There is a certain bass that you get when pee hits the water.  Physics tells us that the sound and bass gets louder from either the amount of time the pee travels from the wang to the water or the force at which pee travels from wang to toilet.  I try to always pee in the middle of the water to make sure I get that deep bass-like pee sound.  It’s like a man thing because you want to make sure your pee sounds strong when it hits that water.  Even when I’m at home and go use the bathroom when my girlfriend is here. I stand as far back as I can from the toilet to maximize that bass.  It’s not like she doesn’t already know what I am working with, but I like to remind her every now and then.


Leave a comment

Filed under You Care