I am not of any kind of relationship expert… obviously since I can’t find a man… well let me take that back, since I can’t find anyone worthy of my 100% attention. Plenty of men, but I have ADHD and some serious detective skills that always lead to demise of my relationships. And it don’t even be like I am looking for shyt, but especially if we share DNA (sex, for the dummies) I am going to know who else you are fuxing, how often, and when the next time you expecting it. I am a firm co-signer in that saying that women can cheat “better” than men. Yes thee fcuk we can! Chile…. I can write for days on how many times I have caught my supposedly significant other doing EVERY DAMN THING but what he was supposed to be doing when I wasn’t around and his abundant dehydrated and lackluster in appearance female friends was amuck.
Maybe… just maybe, it is me with this whole Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Twister, etc, feeling. But this damn commercial irk my soul something serious. First and foremost I only tend to see it in the morning, because educated black folks watch GMA (Good Morning America), so I reckon that is the only time that it seems fitting to catch my attention. (In the afternoon I am watching Disney Channel, Cartoon Network,
porn, and Bullshyt Entertainment Television) Continue reading
I’ve thought this many times. My absolutely stunning drop dead gorgeous girlfriend and I are getting prepared to go out. I get dressed super fast because I really have nothing more “dress casual” than a pair of jeans and polo shirt. I have a sports coat I used to wear with my jeans and polo shirt ensemble, but every year that sports coat gets smaller and smaller. Go figure. I think it was made in China so you know all the problem they have with their quality controls over there. The coat is most likely defective. Back to my story though, I can be dressed and she is still applying makeup. Then she walks out the bathroom and asks “How do I look?”. Continue reading
I would like to consider myself of the most elite brand of black
mixed folks considering that I did graduate from a HBCU, and then went on to attend the certified Harvard of Art Schools. I also was raised in the country/hood part of my home town but was sent a boot camp (etiquette center, and a majority white school) of what normal people should act like and was forced to do so in order to blend. However, I have stupid, regression and non-grammatical correct moments. Matter of damn fact you might find quite a few in this list. But what makes me better than most is that I can recognize my flaws and do my best to correct them… or either laugh at them.
Things that most educated black people do or partake in:
*GAH DAMMIT… I gotta stop using my outside conversations for writing muses…*
Actually this post is not of our usual funny banter and I was gonna write it in my personal blog, but meh…. it don’t really pertains to me per-say. As I was talking to a long time buddy of mine a few weeks ago we somehow got on the subject of losing virginity, sibling rivalery, sex, age differences… blah…blah…blah…(how all those subjects intertwined, I still don’t know) and don’t even ask HOW that subject came up. Continue reading
What Chili wants doesn’t matter- The plight of a regular guy that has to deal with the “female list”
Recently, I heard Chili (1/3 of the R&B Group TLC) and newly found reality star of VH1’s “What Chili Wants”, on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Chili was talking about the upcoming season of “What Chili Wants” and it left me sitting by my radio asking “Why in the world would VH1 do a second season of this show?” Then, just a few minutes later I realized that this is the same network that will milk the life out of a piece of another show….turning it into 3 more series of reality shows. (Case in point, Flavor of Love-all three seasons, followed by Strange Love with Flavor Flav, followed by I Love New York, followed by I Love New York 2, followed by a Real Chance at Love with Real and Chance followed by Real Chance at Love 2…….see my pattern?)
It is one of the worst things to find out about your current relationship. You see an old picture of the two of them together, or you find an old Valentine’s Day card he sent to her or………..they are still friends on Facebook. You find out his name and pull up his page. The profile loads and you find yourself in a moment where the only thing that really fits the situation is “Damn”. It happens. Life happens. Shyt happens. And at this point you just have to make sure the shyt doesn’t hit the fan. Because when shyt hits the fan it splatters and it takes a lot of Pine Sol to clean up. Cleaning up shyt is rarely pleasant. Obviously, finding out your girlfriend use to get tossed up by the Old Spice Guy (before he was the Old Spice Guy) can be very intimidating. How you handle this situation going forward can and will affect you and your relationship.