*insert song by R. Kelly here*
But honestly the song was right. There is NOTHING you can do about it. But what I am here to write about it WHAT exactly make us (meaning the XX chromosomes with melanin in our skin) fed up.
- Your “girl”friends
Now any self-respecting woman in a relationship would have confidence in herself and relationship to know when she doesn’t have anything to worry about when it comes to your “girl”friends. Granted, there is a ratio (don’t know the percentage) of women who are all on some MINE MINE MINE shyt about their men having female friends. Then there is the ratio that do know how to deal with that appropriately unless……. its more to it. I like to consider myself of the latter ratio, only because I have a plethora of male friends too. And that is ALL that they are to me. My male friends may have a different agenda, but in my mind they will never be more than that until I am ready for more. But to have women (especially physically attractive) as your friends NOT respect the relationship betwix you and your main chick is a way to get you left. Point. Blank. Period. I am not about to sit up here and compete with some woman/girl that you can’t seem to leave alone/or make her respect our relationship, because she is needy and not getting the male attention (whatever that may be) from her other male friends. That calling after 10 pm, being that shoulder for her to cry on, all that shyt…. No. I. Fcuking.Refuse.
- Obvious (Cheating) *I don’t condone it… It has nothing to do with my self-respect, self-image, self-esteem… blah, blah, blah, all that strong black woman shyt I hear… it happens, so save it.*
Trust and believe we know. Now what we let slid in terms of severity differs from woman to woman. If you are out cheating on your woman and if she is a good woman, your best bet is to stop, or cut that shyt to a very miniscule minimal. I can sit here and say that I will not tolerate a cheating man, but that will be a damn lie. I have been cheated on in all ways, from walking in on them mid stroke, to finding long WEAVE hair, lip gloss, and smelling perfume (I don’t wear weave or favor lip gloss that much) in his car when we were supposed to be in a “monogamous” relationship. I know that cheating is a possibility, and I make it very clear up front I don’t want to SEE it, HEAR about it, or even THINK about it. However (comma) that DOES NOT give you an open invite to do it, and when you are constantly leaving shyt around for me to SEE, or sneaking on the phone or your text messages notification going off and I am HEARING it, without a doubt, now I am THINKING about it…. I’m done.
- Not 50/50
A relationship is supposed to be 50/50 when it comes to emotional and physical support. You can’t expect me to sit here and sing a Mary J. Blige sonnet about giving you babies and the best 11 years of my life to support you thru your BA, MFA, and PhD. years when all you did for me is…. just give me babies. I can write 1000 posts about giving/taking relationships and about what you are supposed to do for your mate in a healthy relationship. Just know that if she is putting her life on hold for you, no matter what it is, and then you turn around and play some ole okey doke shyt on her, expect her to be gone by time you get off work. Golden Rule: Do unto those, as you would like done unto you. If you like getting head, find out what she like sexually. If you wanna go back to law school to become a lawyer, find out what her life long aspirations are, if she has any, and be supportive. The worse thing a woman can feel in a relationship is not being appreciated or supported in her decisions. Not on some selfish shyt either, like if she really has done some shyt for you, and then you come home with herpes or some shyt like that…. Negro BYE
- Your job/and homies
Again with the same for your “GIRL”friends. Letting your SINGLE homeboy tell you how to deal with your relationship is sure-fire way to make me leave. If I wanted relationship counseling I would consult my HAPPILY MARRIED/BOO’ed up friends, not the thristy dry dyck/vag homeboy/girl. Brah… it’s not a good look. No matter what. As far as your job, if the job requirements was something that was agreed upon by both parties… then yea. But if your job or your homeboy has you sleeping all damn day, and gone all night at the club or the job, know that its only so many more nights I will tolerate sleeping alone. Don’t get it twisted I am not knocking your financial hustle, we are in a recession, however………. money can’t buy you happiness… nor can your homeboy. Trust and believe unless you work for *cough* my company *cough* your boss will understand that you have a life outside of work.
- Can you stroke the middle?
If you are her man, she should look no further. Just like you men, we women have ADHD to sex. If you ain’t causing uterine bruising, pulling hamstrings or at least have a decent tongue game then the deuces might be chucked. There is no need for me to go into further details. Some silly chicks ONLY stay for the dyck (and believe me… she ain’t wife material), but if you got you a good woman and your dyck game is proper… you shouldn’t have nothing to worry about. I can’t even count how many stories I have from my girlfriends exclaiming about their new fabulous boy toys with WACK AZZ DYCK! Got all the money, game, personality and fame in the world. But his dyck game doe…… BYE