You catch more flies with honey than you do with shyt

Is what my father used to say to me in situations where kindness is needed instead of retaliation.  I remember one time I told him….”Dad, you’re right about the honey but you can still catch a nice bit of flies with that shyt!”  My father erupted in laughter and had to agree.  What I took from that is……sometimes you will be in situations where you need not apply honey but a pile of shyt is called for. I found out some information today where a heaping pile of shyt is called for instead of the pureness of honey. Besides, I’ve been using honey for the last couple of years regarding this and apparently it didn’t matter. I had some information about a bitter stankin ex come to my attention today and I just want to vent about it.  I realize that there must be thousands more of these bitter stankin women out there and so I’m not going to totally single out my ex, so for the purpose of the rest of this blog, when I refer to this bitter spiteful b*tch….I’m also referring to her and all of the other stanking bitter b*tches that need be addressed.  (Can you tell I was hot when I wrote this?)

My ex is one sour miserable bitter b*tch.  And I have an excellent record of never calling a woman a b*tch (to her face).  Seriously, for me calling a woman a b*tch is a tabu issue.  For me, calling a woman a b*tch is the same as a white person calling me a nigger…….or just as tabu as me calling a woman a worthless cunt (why do yall hate that so much anyway?). Fact of the matter is I don’t like that word…….but….. this……. b*tch.

How much time does it really take to move on?  A good three years later and you are still stuck on stupid bad mouthing me at times of your choosing.  Today I had lunch with two of my line brothers and one of them proceeded to tell me a very twisted variation of the events that lead to an Epic breakup.  I like to think that it was an Epic breakup for the simple matter because I outwitted you in the end.  Leading up to the breakup was shouting and cussing, there was I hate you and B*TCH, I hate you more! There were threats made, feelings hurt and there were names called. There was the throwing of personal items, there were police called (you didn’t know about that but yeah, I tried to get the police to follow me to your apartment to get my stuff because I was almost sure I would need them to restrain me from shaking the shyt out of you, smackin the fire out of the bald head dude you cheated on me with and from taking a shyt in the middle of your living room floor before I left.) But, the police wouldn’t come with me.  They told me to take you to Magistrate Court to get all my possessions back.  So I outplayed you. I came up with a way to get all my stuff back without involving the court.  You thought you was just gonna watch that 55 inch Panasonic TV (that now graces my bedroom) with your jump off?  That’s my TV…….B*tch.   And for the purposes of not ousting your real name and where you are…….I will not divulge my intricate plan I enacted to get my stuff back, but you know how it went down.  To all you nosy people who insist in knowing what I did, know that I bluffed her.  If you are a card player, you know that either have to fold or call someone on their bluff.   The thing was, I was holding a ROYAL FLUSH. The bluff was that the nice person I am, I wouldn’t have used the information against you.

So……long story short. I got all of my stuff back.  And the punishment you suffered was so fitting that only the Lord could dish out a more perfect storm of events!  You lost your job (the very next business day), the bald-headed dude you cheated on me with…..cheated on you.  Actually, he got engaged while you two were together and left you for his new wife further solidifying your place as the sidechick.  That thing kinda burns when it’s turned around on you don’t it?  Oh, and then you still needed my help a couple of month’s later with a legal matter in which I refused to testify on your behalf.

Back to these bitter women (now that this blog has become much, much, longer of a rant than I ever planned it to be).  Do you bitter hags hold grudges because you enjoy being bitter?  Or are you holding grudges because you are disappointed in yourself at what you missed out on?  Are you bitter because you had the “ah-ha” moment of self-realization and knew that you are part of the problem yet not ready to make any changes?  Are there any benefits from being this bitter and holding on to failed relationships for so long?  Do you enjoy taking a pessimistic view on relationships since you can’t hold one together? Do you enjoy being skeptical when your girlfriends tell you about the new man in her life but you give her every reason why you think it will never work?  One of yall better answer me!

Anyway, for 3 years I’ve handled you with the care of honey.  But since you got the nerve to let my name come out of your mouth, slandering me at public events to some of the bougiest crowds in the city, then I got some shyt you can have.  And the next time I see you, I got a word for your bitter, spiteful, cheat’n, kineving, whoreful, scallywag cunt that you are.

B.S.

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2 Comments

Filed under Relationships...mmm kinda sorta, You Care

2 responses to “You catch more flies with honey than you do with shyt

  1. Pingback: Ok, here is what’s new….. | Foolish Intelligence

  2. Pingback: Ok, here is what’s new….. | Foolish Intelligence

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